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Today has just been the weirdest day of my life. I feel like I am literally just existing…I hate this. At least I have been able to be the voice of reason for someone who needed me. I just really want to know that I am loved for me and who I am…especially by one person in particular. I really miss said person and he won’t be back for two weeks…fml.
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“You’re addicted to the drug of lust
a detox in the cold sweat of shame
and I love your pain.”
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Love is a many, splendid thing.
Love lifts us up where we belong.
All we need is love.
Looking at my life right now love is the most destructive force known to man. Yes, technically I can say love heals and is magical and all of that…but looking at my life I would have avoided so much pain and trouble had I been the Ice Queen I was once presumed to be. I keep taking everything he dishes out at me so that I can be there for him…why? Love. I am a perfectly logical human being bound at the mercy of my heart and emotions and I just can’t stand it. He tore my walls down and I have never felt so vulnerable in my entire life. I’m a strong, independent woman. I don’t need him. Yet I find myself drawn to him…I have never found myself in this predicament. He’s such an asshole it’s unreal. Yet I can’t help but feel that sickeningly wonderful thud in my chest when I look at him…God help me.
